Thinking back on all of the clients that I have had, few of them have been both female and autistic. While I have seen numerous mothers who (to me) clearly had the textbook signs of autism, they never had a diagnosis and often presented as more worn and drained than their counterparts.
This is a very real issue in the autism world. I’ve said this before, but looking back at my traits as a preschooler, I had some signs myself. They were never addressed or even brought up aside from one random report. I couldn’t sit still during circle time, had a strange fascination with beating/cleaning the erasers, and played alongside kids rather than with them. I was humorously labeled a “non-conformist,” and that was that.
I’m not saying I’m on the spectrum, but really, how would I know? It’s never been given as a possibility, often because I was too well-behaved (read: quiet), did excellent in school, had friends, etc. The truth of the matter is that the medical and mental health communities do not look for autism in girls/women like they do with boys/men, and this needs to change.
The articles below do a nice job of discussing this further, if you wish to do some more reading into it: