First, yes, it’s been awhile. A lot has been going on over here, including some big decisions that will probably be announced in the June site update.
A recent situation has caused me to take a hard look at the idea of “parent buy-in.” It’s a bit of a buzzword/concept in my field, and it centers around the goal of getting the family invested in our therapy work. Too often, I see parents who simply hand their child/children off to the therapist/interventionist/specialist and basically say, “Here, fix them.”
The truth, parents and guardians, is that we cannot “fix” your child. First of all, many of us don’t really like the idea of “fixing” anyone. It implies that the individual is broken, inferior, or not up to some invisible set of societal standards. Second, we are in your home/community or you are in our office a few hours a week.
In order for your son or daughter to become the best that they can be, they need YOU.
In order for us to be able to find those sparks in your son or daughter, we need YOU.
I always try to tell families at the very beginning that this is a team effort, and everyone must be invested in it. The clients I worked with who blossomed the most were the ones who had the support and follow-through from their parents/guardians, their siblings, and even extended family. The families who were sponges, hungry for information, skills, and concrete examples…these were the cases that led to more fulfilled lives. No, the child didn’t get “fixed.” The child got love and acceptance, and that made them work at becoming more confident, loving, and ready. All children want to receive acceptance and praise from their parents/loved ones, I truly believe that.
When the families meet us at the table, ready to make the world of their family unit a better place, amazing things happen. I’ve seen it over and over again.
I have a saying when meeting families: “My end goal is to essentially be fired because you don’t need me anymore.” I don’t want your family to become dependent on me or my team. I want you to apply learned skills and build relationship bonds so that you don’t need my “expertise” anymore.
Us professionals want to see the child AND the family unit flourish and thrive independent of any services or interventions.
This needs to be everyone’s goal.