First, I’m fine. The emerging online conversation amongst black men (and men in general) about being able to admit when they need help inspired this post (See #yougoodman on Twitter).
I’m one of those stubborn people who really hates asking for help. I like figuring things out on my own, solving problems, and above all, maintaining my inner dialogue that I have *most* of my life figured out. Asking for help tends to dim that dialogue.
The truth of the matter is, we all need help at some point.
We are taught to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, of defeat. You couldn’t handle it on your own, so clearly something’s wrong with you. It is one of the main reasons why depression and anxiety run rampant in American culture. Society is very demanding on the human psyche, but no one wants to publicly admit that.
Maybe it’s not depression. Maybe you’re just going through a hard time. That stubbornness will tell you that you can’t ask for help because it will imply that (again) something’s wrong with you, or that you clearly made some bad choices and had this coming to you. By seeking help, however, you are admitting that you want to do better. You want to be better, and you are willing to do what it takes to achieve that.
Yes, your ego may get bruised a bit at first, but by learning to actively seek help you are becoming a more complete you. Maybe you need help with a project from someone more experienced. You can now add that person’s knowledge to your own. If you had a financial hiccup, I am willing to bet that you will more than likely examine ways to not make those same choices. If you feel overwhelmed, seeking professional help will give you tools to address that stress going forward. You have everything to gain.
Those of us in the helping fields made this our life paths for a reason. There are people who live to literally see you do well. Don’t be afraid to seek us out, and don’t be afraid to seek out those right in front of you for help, either.
In the long run, you’ll be glad that you did.